


24K Lush

by holopansy



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Dumbass Frank, Frank eats soap, M/M, Retail Worker Gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:07:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25315072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holopansy/pseuds/holopansy
Summary: "au where gerard works at lush and frank is one of the idiots who takes a bite out of the soap" -@violentposed
Relationships: Frank Iero & Gerard Way, Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 5
Kudos: 62





	24K Lush

From the exterior, Lush looks like a candy shop. When one Frank Iero walks in after trying to find a gift for his mother for several hours, he’s too enraptured with the colorful blocks and sweet smells to actually stop and realize he’s in a soap store. His mom isn’t the biggest fan of candy, but she loves to spread nutella on strawberries, so when Frank sees a bar with open bowls of what look to be fruit and chocolate spreads, he thinks that he’s finally found a perfect gift. He walks past the one with coffee beans placed artfully on top, and skips over the blueberry one to the brown spread labeled ‘cupcake’. His eyes wander over the phrase ‘deep-cleansing chocolate treat,’ and he smiles. _Chocolate cupcakes? She’ll love that,_ he thinks. He sees a small jar with wooden spatulas, and dips it in, getting a large glob. As he brings it to his mouth, he smells chocolate and mint. 

_Oh, GOD. What the fuck?!_

It sticks to the roof of his mouth, and along with the hints of chocolate and mint, he tastes straight dirt. He starts coughing, trying to swallow the cursed mixture. 

“Are you okay?!” A man’s voice behind him asks, alarmed. 

Frank finishes swallowing, and turns around to see a man not much older than him with shoulder-length blonde hair staring at him with concern. 

“I’m okay, I just think I need some water, do you have some water?” 

“Yeah, there’s a water cooler in the breakroom, I’ll go grab you some. Stay right here,” the man says, running to the back room. He quickly returns with a small cup of cold water, and Frank downs it, swishing out the horrible taste of mud. 

“What the fuck is in that spread? It tastes like dirt.” 

The employee’s face turns red, and he’s trying to hold back a laugh. 

“I’m SO sorry...this is a cosmetic’s store.”

“What!?”   
  
Frank looks behind the cute man who looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm from holding in his laughter, and sees a sign that says ‘Lush Fresh Handmade Cosmetics.’ 

Now Frank starts blushing. 

“You can’t be serious?! This isn’t food?” 

“N-no, we sell face masks and-” the man can’t hold it in anymore, and a giggle escapes from his mouth. He starts to laugh hard, one hand covering his mouth, another on his stomach. Even though he’s laughing at Frank, he’s very cute, and Frank is cursing himself for being so stupid as to walk into a soap store and fucking eat soap, and do it in front of the cutest employee there. His laugh is kind of contagious, and now that he’s thinking about it, it’s pretty fucking funny. He just ate SOAP. Soon Frank’s obnoxious giggle joins in, and begins a feedback loop of laughs that dies down and then starts up again when they look in one another’s eyes. Other customers are starting to look at them funny, but Frank has already embarrassed himself sufficiently, so he doesn’t really care. 

A few minutes later, the laughs finally subside and the employee speaks, wiping tears away from the corner of his eyes. 

“I’m sorry! I don’t mean to laugh. Everyone who works here has had instances of customers coming in and trying to eat something, but I’ve never heard of someone ACTUALLY eating it.” 

“I’m so embarrassed...it’s bad enough I did that, but to do it in front of a cute guy is the icing on top of the inedible cake.” 

“Cute guy, huh?”

Frank blushes again. 

“Yeah, cute. He probably wouldn’t want anything to do with a dumbass though.” 

“I don’t know, some people are into dumbasses.” 

“Yeah? Well in that case, hello, I’m Frank and I’m a dumbass who eats soap.” Frank says, offering his hand. 

The employee shakes Frank’s hand, and it’s very soft. Probably from all the soaps and lotions. 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Gerard. I’m a big fan of attractive dumbasses who eat soap. I’m also finished with my shift at 2, and I would love to take you to the shop on the other side of the mall where they serve actual chocolate, if that’s something that interests you.” 

“I think that’s a great idea. I would love to get the taste of…” Frank glances at the list of ingredients that are written next to the ‘Cupcake’ label, “...CLAY out of my mouth.” 

Gerard laughs again. He has an adorable laugh. 

“Okay, I’ll meet you right outside the entrance in half an hour?” 

“Yeah, see you then,” Frank says, and he leaves the store to browse the aisles of the record store across the entrance. 

One year later, when Frank opens the fridge and there’s a black container with a bow on top filled with a chocolate-scented memory on the shelf, he collapses to the ground and laughs until tears are streaming down his face and his abs hurt. 

The note attached to the lid makes him laugh all over again.

_Not for consumption by my idiot boyfriend!_  
_Happy anniversary, sweetheart._

_Xoxo G._


End file.
